New Year!

2015!! WHAAAT>!!! Where did 2014 go so quickly? I'm sure I'm not the only one that feels this way!! While there is really no point to this blog post. No words of wisdom, or something to teach, just a regular old blog post about how I feel this year is going to go for me and my life. You see.....the last couple New Year's Eve's have been bittersweet for me.....and by bittersweet.....taken some getting used to...haha. Me and my husband were talking about this yesterday. How that while we really never needed an excuse to drink to get obliterated, and fight our little hearts our about things that should never be fought about or even brought up or doing things that put the word shame to shame and not remembering it.....my husband was talking about how "NON-exciting" it felt to get dressed to go to a party, and not that it was a bad thing to be social, which is important, it's just hard being a sober couple and being around alcohol, and going to a party and feeling like we don't fit in any longer.  Don't get me wrong....the ones we were with last night, did NOT make us feel like out casts AT ALL....far from it. Actually....it was the opposite. 3 years ago....we were much more anxious to bring in the new year because of all of the alcohol that would be involved and to us...that was what brought the "life" of the party. Well....things have certainly changed. One....we are now in our mid-thirties, sober, and our bedtime is usually 9pm...haha. Two.....we now realize that alcohol is FAR from what brings the "life" to a party or social gathering, it's actually who you surround yourself with, and the thoughts about life that YOU bring to it, and how you allow your past and present situations to control it.....and Three....life should ALWAYS be celebrated on a much grander scale of things than partying and puking and waking up with no motivation to celebrate life at all.

While I'm am NOW grateful and accept and understand the things I've gone through in life, I am still learning myself. 2014 was definitely a bumpy road. And everyone can say that I'm sure....but honestly...I've learned so much. I feel like something is shifting in my life. Things are more easily letting go. I'm no longer allowing myself to be defined by my past, I now realize that that girl no longer exists. I have discovered who I am, truly.....and I'm confident in my career choice, because I care so much for people. I have a connection and feel a bond to those who have struggled or are struggling to get through things I've gone through myself, or even those who have a totally different struggle, once I feel a connection to someone....I can't help myself....I have to do what I can to help them get through, or succeed. I have ALWAYS been this way.  But this wasn't always a good thing. Being this kind of person, has lead me to some heartache. It made me build huge walls and have NO trust in anyone almost. Not that I didn't care...but my trust was broken. I let this define my character after a while. I felt I was unlovable. I started holding grudges and not forgiving people and started blaming others for not being able to who I truly am. I became selfish. Selfish with myself, my time, and who I thought deserved it, because I didn't want to get hurt again and I felt I would rather just be alone to avoid the pain I just "knew" it would eventually entail. I know better than this. This left me lonely. This began to make me doubt my abilities to help others, because I was stuck in my own prison of not trusting, not forgiving and not moving on. WAKE UP CALL....

2014 has been ALL about wake up calls for me! It has shown me that life is EXACTLY what I focus on! While focusing on being pissed off at people or situations, and focusing on things holding me back, instead of focusing on just being MYSELF, accepting myself, having faith and believing I can be great and help many, many people, I was missing out on life!! 2014 showed me that a life with limitations is created by  thoughts. There is NO one to put limitations on my life without my consent....it was all an illusion I allowed myself to believe! 2014 has definitely taught me that LIFE ALWAYS GOES ON.....no matter what! No matter if someone you love passes away, no matter if you stay stuck on the negative things holding you back and remaining miserable or you break free, open your mind to trying new things, taking control of your life, your thoughts, your values, your choices and you MAKE the decision to change.....it STILL goes on! No one or nothing is going to stop what they are doing...the world is NOT going to stop spinning because we are unhappy, and CHOOSE to remain in a miserable place! Life is about making positive choices......forgetting the negative. Pushing through...even when you feel you no longer can...because honestly....you can! I didn't realize this until 2014 either. I see many people wanting to make these big changes, but they are missing the part where you have to LET GO of the things that aren't allowing you to change. You have to MAKE changes to see changes. It doesn't just happen....and these changes have to be consistent, and they have to come from a place so deep down inside of us to stick. If you want it, but you don't want it THAT bad....it will show.....plain and simple. Life is so much about the ups and downs......staying up through the storms of life. Living the calm inside the storm. Well....I'm so ready to brave the storms in 2015.
I have many goals for 2015. I plan on reaching every single one of them, but if I don't, I realize now that it's not because I'm a failure, or I should just quit. It's because life is about growth. If there is a goal I failed to reach, it means I'm supposed to push harder to reach it. I see it as a stepping stone to success now. I learn, I grow, I get better and better, and I love this life.

I pray that you too have many, many goals and aspirations for 2015. I pray that you too learn to celebrate even the hardships that may come your way, because they are there for a reason.....and they are inevitable. I pray that you love yourself, so that you can love others even more......it's the MOST important thing and I pray for good health for you ane your families!

Much Love,

The Invigorated Soul

Special Day :)

I thought I would write a little blog post on this very special day. You might be thinking....is it a holiday? Her anniversary? Well, it's an anniversary...yes....but it's an anniversary that literally changed my life for the better. It is the 2nd biggest change I've made in my life after taking myself off of anti anxiety and depression medications that I had been addicted to for years. It was a decision I made for not only myself, but for my family. I made the decision to live a sober and tobacco free life. I started smoking regularly at the age of 14, and I started relying on alcohol religiously in my early 20's,after my first marriage had failed, and I became a single mother. My life kinda spiraled at that point and my anxiety became worse and worse. It was from that point on that there are moments in that time in my life that are a blur, or that I don't even remember....pretty scary to think about now. But fast forward to two years ago....after many, many years of drinking every night, doing things that I am very shameful of, I was laying in a hospital bed because of the choices in my life that I had been making. I had already gone through a transformation. I took myself off medications I had been on since the age of 16, and I had lost 87lbs by exercising and eating better. But I knew my transformation wasn't complete. I knew that I wasn't happy, even after my transformation, because I was living sort of a double life. By day I was an exercising machine, yes even smoking about 2 packs of cigarettes a day, but by night, I was drinking 30 packs of beer and fighting with my husband all night. It just wasn't good, and it needed to change, and I ended up in the hospital with a nervous breakdown because of those choices conflicting with what I knew in my heart had to change, because I knew how I wanted to live, and the way I was living, didn't match up with that vision. I knew, once again....just like I did when I just KNEW I had to stop my addiction to meds, that this was next. It was the missing piece that had been holding me back. And laying in that hospital bed overnight, I made the committment to live in sobriety and quit smoking.

Fast forward to today....two years later. What has changed in my life since I made this decision? Well, I became a Fitness Coach, for an amazing company called Beachbody which by using their in home workout program, I lost my weight and was introduced to the coaching opportunity they offered their customers and started helping others transform their own lives, which helped me find my passion and purpose in life. I decided to go back to school and start learning more about Health, Wellness and Nutrition at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition to become a Certified Health and Nutrition Coach. I also decided to further my fitness knowledge and become a Certified Personal Trainer at The National Academy of Sports Medicine, with the vision of starting up my own Health Coaching practice to continue my passion of helping others pursue their goals in life. 

Three months after my decision to change, my amazing husband decided to join me and quit smoking and drinking as well. Something I thought was NEVER going to happen! I wake up every day with a new intention. An intention to enjoy this life, to continue to grow and to help others, and to continue my journey guilt free, shame free and happy and healthy! I still have alot of work ahead of me, but I do know how far I've come and I thank God for carrying me through with enough strength, and providing me with a grateful attitude. 

I hope you enjoy your day!!

The Invigorated Soul